Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you... - Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women

"Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh!"

"My birthday is on a holiday. I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me."

"The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup."

"Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car."

"I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman."