Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m als... - Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women
"Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women
"My birthday is on a holiday. I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me."
"If I ever go to China, I’m going to find a piano and play “Chopsticks”--only not with my fingers, but rather I’ll be using two forks."
"Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car."
"In high school I barely made the rodeo team. But I wasn’t good enough to start, so I just rode the bench."
"Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles."