More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women

"Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"Sometimes I sit for hours just thinking, wondering what the man upstairs is trying to tell me. Yesterday I reached the conclusion that he was saying, “Get me a slinky."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh!"
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"I don’t think that taking off my eye patch would increase my night vision by 100%, but it would go a long way towards relieving my wedgie."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More