The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a veh... - Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women
"The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women
"Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face."
"Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles."
"Sometimes I sit for hours just thinking, wondering what the man upstairs is trying to tell me. Yesterday I reached the conclusion that he was saying, “Get me a slinky."
"Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh!"
"I don’t think that taking off my eye patch would increase my night vision by 100%, but it would go a long way towards relieving my wedgie."