More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I make love like my afternoon shadow is long. I'll bring the foreplay, if you bring the guacamole. (Yes, I know there is a 99-cent upcharge.)"
"I drive as fast as four tire swings hanging from a tree branch in the middle of winter. I also make love with as much speed and rotation."
"A chance meeting in a Kansas City coffee shop may take me months of planning and twice a day visits for over a year. But I already have my stunned, surprised, and shocked speech rehearsed for the moment I act like I had no idea she would be there."
"You wash the horse, and I’ll wash the horse trainer. Then we’ll wash the dishes while we gallop into the sunset like two dirty lovers."
"His hair isn’t turning gray—it’s turning silver, and it’s going up in value. Aging is the best hedge against an inflationary fiat currency."