More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"People don't care what I wear or don't wear, and even if I don't wear anything people will cover for me if they know that I care about them."
"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"She's beautiful, but so what? If the University of Florida taught me anything, it's that beautiful women are everywhere. The trick is to find the diamond among all the glittering cubic zirconias."
"Together kabobs make the world better than all the Bobs combined. Well, at least ever since Bob Ross moved on to the land of the happy trees."