#knowing-oneself

"Cruel Love [10w] Cruel love helps turn out excellent,competitive, cutthroat, dog-eat-dog children."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"Pulling a Houdini Relationships are magic;we're always getting each other out of handcuffs and strait-jacketswhile locked in a steamer trunk underwater."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"Cinco de Mayo [10w] What day do the dead party to celebrate the living?"

"Missouri State Motto Salus populi suprema lex esto [16]If our chiggers don't getcha', Rush Limbaugh will."

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."

"Wine [10w] American wines tasting as good as French wines are presumptuous."

"New Age Hype Don't 'honor your feelings.'Half the time they're full of shit.Don't 'embrace' anything without a pulse.Mindfulness should include not listening to quacks."

"Love Undeniable [10w] A lover may deny anything to their lover but love."

"La Récolteuse de la Mort Je suis la Récolteuse de la Mort et ~vous êtes ce que je viens pour les!"

"Spooning [10w] Love means tasting her spaghetti sauce on a wooden spoon."

"Lowbrows vs. Highbrows If you show something lowbrow to a highbrow does it wind up becoming crusty eye caca?"

"Death as Opportunity [10w] Death's an opportunity to wisely fill the void it leaves."

"Dogs Playing Poker Art [10w] Poker-faced dogs looks like they're bluffing or need to shit."

"Legacy To leave a legacy,you first gotta leave your leg in the door."