#paraphrased

"All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let's get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States -- and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!"

"Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

"Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them."

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

"I have something that I call my Golden Rule. It goes something like this: 'Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you.' … The twenty-five percent is for error."

"If the bee disappeared off the face of the earth, man would only have four years left to live."

"What's in a name, anyway? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell."

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

"Everything must be made as simple as possible. But not simpler."

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."

"Do you hate people?”“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around."

"Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"

"Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same -- with charity you give love, so don't just give money but reach out your hand instead."

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."

"Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar."

"Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."

"Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it."

"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."