Kurt Vonnegut

"If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."

"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind."

"When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth."

"Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic."

"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."

"Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything."

"Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I’ve said before, bugs in amber."

"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."

"Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I’ve said before, bugs in amber."

"There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia."

"The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon."

"The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected."

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."

"You are better than you think. A-one, a-two a-three."

"Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?"

"The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest."

"Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician."

"I speak gibberish to the civilized world and it replies in kind."

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."

"If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDEDFOR THE EXISTENCE OF GODWAS MUSIC"