Jarod Kintz, If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

"Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow."

"Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart."

"Word of mouth—it's more powerful, more convincing, and more audible than word of hand. If you need me, I’ll be in the audience clapping."

"Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart."

"Word of mouth—it's more powerful, more convincing, and more audible than word of hand. If you need me, I’ll be in the audience clapping."