#cats

"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life — music and cats."

"I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?"

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."

"I DON'T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS."

"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."

"To err is human, to purr is feline."

"I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half empty can of tuna (keeps the stray cats away, because I perform in a gritty, grimy downtown alley)."

"You fuck - you ate my cat!"

"I love my cats more than I love most people. Probably more than is healthy."

"I haven't measured it, but I'll bet cat purrs vibrate at a healing frequency. Also, a whispered I love you almost certainly resonates with heart and DNA repair."

"I have lived with several Zen masters -- all of them cats."

"Cats don't need to be possessed; they're evil on their own."

"Now you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names."

"Nellie grinned. "I always wanted to go to Venice. It's supposed to be the romance capital of the world.""Sweet,"put in Dan. "Too bad your date is an Egyptian Mau on a hunger strike."The au pair sighed. "Better than an eleven-year-old with a big mouth."

"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember."

"I just sprayed cologne on my hand and then pet the back of my cat's head while he slept, and he woke up so confused, trying to sniff behind his neck and all around wondering what sweet attack he was under."

"Aubrey, crouching on a nearby counter, watched me with squinty eyes, apparently pondering why anyone would willingly immerse themselves in water ever, let alone for extended periods of time."

"You can't be sad when Daisy is around, she won't let you."

"Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons."

"She looked so sexy with her sixteen cats that I just had to swipe right, but when she messaged me first quoting Monty Python, I knew it was Tinder love. Maybe on the first date we’ll knit the blanket we’ll make love under."