More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"75% of my life is spent wasting time. The other 25% isn’t nearly as productive."
"String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress."
"Candle making is a half-ass business, because the product is only useful half the day, at night. Why not make candles that double as dildos, and make it a whole-ass business."
"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."
"I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you."