More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but who is the father? Don’t look at me! I wore a condom."
"I love you the way ice melts in vodka—slowly, seamlessly, and invisibly. It’s a feel-good feeling whether you see it or not."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."
"As soon as you cross the county line into where all the wealthier people live, the weather is suddenly sunnier and warmer. Even at night."
"If I saw a hitchhiker wearing a tie-dyed shirt, I’d assume he’s been waiting for a ride since the 1960s. I think that kind of patience is groovy."