"A circular table that spins around is a great way to make a romantic dinner for two with three people less awkward. I’ll pay for myself, I promise."
"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."
"Water is translucent, but not invisible. But a glass half full is half translucent, half invisible, and you cannot drink what you cannot see, which may be why I am so thirsty for her love."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"The roses of romance grow when you water your relationship with gratitude. Love will bloom and blossom when you recognize the awesome."
"The salesman said the sale was happening because all the gizmos in the store had to be liquidated. It was a lot of solidfluid, and I would have bought something, but the only thing I was thirsty for was her love."