More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"He was just a kid. He didn’t care. He was like, “I’m getting in my mom’s van and I’m going home.” I was just a kid, too. But I cared. With him gone, who was I going to play Plato and Socrates with?"
"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."
"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."
"As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon."
"My name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time."