More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Sexcess—it’s about sex in excess and success all rolled up into one sweaty ball."
"Pluto will always be a planet in my book. That’s because my book was published before Pluto was blacklisted by planetary scientists."
"Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye? Because that’s the word my soul is trying to say."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"I have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine."