More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"There is life, and there is death, and in between there is me. Please don’t wake me up."
"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"At the end of the universe you’ll find a door labeled “Do Not Enter.” No great mysteries are hidden there—it’s just a supplies closet."
"In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two."
"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success."