"Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave."
"The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger."
"I put the “now” in knowledge. Well, I will put it there, probably tomorrow or tomorrow’s tomorrow."
"There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late."
"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to."
"With my career I want to either make something or make an impact. Writers both make something, and make an impact."