"About adultery: Don’t go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home."
"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her."
"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."
"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"
"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"