"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
"Her dad died unexpectedly, so I hid the flowers, because flowers are reminders of spring and life, and also of headstones and death. Also, I hid the flowers because they were for another woman."
"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"
"I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady."
"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."
"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."