More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated it with glue, covered it with cat hair, mounted it on my wall, and started claiming it was an exotic animal I killed on a Safari in Africa. I'd like to believe people believe me, on account of it being so strange that it has to be true."
"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."
"It's a fact that men make more money than women. That's why I became a man. Best decision of my life."
"The harmonica has musical wind, and is the breath of soul. It’s like a sad, lonely I love you lost in the breeze."
"I make naked, and I make it by hand. I also make it using the rest of my body. Coming soon to a Walmart near you."