More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"I miss her like 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, and 5 misses 8. When we made love, our two bodies formed one spiral that seemed to cycle to the sky."
"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."
"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."
"Read her poetry before you make love to her. That way she’ll be asleep when you do. I’m as romantic as a rocking chair with wheels."