More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."
"White letters plus white paper equals invisibility. Just because you can’t see my love for you, doesn’t mean I didn’t write about it."
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."
"I wrapped your birthday present in carpet, because I bought you a floor. It’s so you have something other than me to walk all over."
"My vacation wasn’t long enough—and neither was my penis. Two weeks is just too short to satisfy one woman all night long."