"Better than learning how to speak a foreign language, is to start speaking the truth. But few people will listen, because they just don’t understand."
"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."
"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."
"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."
"A white wedding dress, once worn, is like the ghost of a moment, trapping feelings of forever into fabric that’s never to be tried on again."
"Let’s get romantic and head to bed and make meatloaf all night long. I’ll wear my Ben Bernanke beard, because it fits me like a fur coat."