She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “N... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"My skull needs a tornado inside, to clean out my thoughts. I’ll call Kansas tomorrow to see if I can rent one for the day."
"My love for you grows daily, and all it takes is exposure to your sunny disposition, coupled with watering it with coffee."
"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."
"I haven't measured it, but I'll bet cat purrs vibrate at a healing frequency. Also, a whispered I love you almost certainly resonates with heart and DNA repair."
"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."