More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did."
"All I know is I don’t know if I know, and this everlasting oscillation shakes my belief system."
"My name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time."
"She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream."
"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to."