More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two."
"My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we approach the end."
"Last year, millions of students didn’t graduate from high school. They didn’t drop out, they were simply in elementary and middle schools."
"His shelf. Good. Noodle dust. Decaying brain collecting dust. Must insert it back in skull—what was I thinking?"
"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."