More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success."
"My answer is nope, so don’t even hope."
"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."
"Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them."
"I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them."