Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for m... - Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."
"Every night I pray I whisper into a megaphone, not only so God is sure to hear, but also my neighbors, because I pray to God He’ll deliver pestilence and plague to the residents next door. I even tell God the exact address, as if He can’t read my heart. But it’s not for His benefit, it’s for my neighbors’."
"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."
"One day I’ll have my appointment with death, and every day I call out to God to see if I can reschedule for a later date."
"Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight."
"I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car."