"Dinner was a riot, but the food was bland, so I doused it with pepper spray. The chef wanted to protest, but he didn’t, because I had the pepper spray."
"A love story in six words: Hello. Goodbye. In between was marriage."
"I’m a little more reserved in person than people expect. But I warm up quickly, like leftovers. Meatloaf, anyone?"
"If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs)."
"The heart pumps blood, a fluid, but it also pulses love, which is as liquid as a wave, and everyone wants a refill. My goal is to be a server."
"She cuts me deep with her words, with her withholding of words, and with her knife. I’m not sure which is the most painful."