I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a polit... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a politician’s car, after I threw them there."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."
"I wouldn’t feel great if you left me alone, but I wouldn’t feel bad either. I’d feel good, like I always do, which has nothing to do with you, even if you’ll have nothing to do with me."
"I’m giving a free concert tonight. Seating is limited, so bring your own toilet. While there is no admission price, if you bring 100 dollars, it’s like a roll of toilet paper."
"The word long is short, and so is the word short, but why is the word love as long as long? Shouldn’t it be longer?"
"If you have a broken heart, I’d like to fix it. Repairs start at just $69. Special delivery charges may apply."