"If anybody is looking to rent a dancing partner for an evening, I have one left in stock. That one is me, and I am on sale ‘til Tuesday at two."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"I'm hanging on to her memory like Spanish moss on an ancient Florida oak, and unlike the sunset, my love won't fade."
"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."
"All thoughts, secret or spoken, belong in a coffee table book written in Braille, so you can really feel the emotions."
"Hide things everywhere. Forget about them. Find them randomly and feel surprised like a pirate finding buried treasure. Avoid scurvy. Love more."