More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream."
"One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more prisons. That’s what makes the US so great. That’s what freedom is all about."
"After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late."