Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not eve... - Groucho Marx

"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own."

"If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere."

"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"Humor is reason gone mad."

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."