Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not eve... - Groucho Marx

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."

"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere."

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."