"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself."
GR
Groucho Marx
29 quotes
Quotes by Groucho Marx
"Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse."
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others."
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
"Room service? Send up a larger room."[A Night at the Opera]"
"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own."
"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"Humor is reason gone mad."
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun."
"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere."
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"Humor is reason gone mad."