One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in... - Groucho Marx

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse."

"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"Humor is reason gone mad."