More quotes by Groucho Marx

"If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself."
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."