If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the anim... - Groucho Marx

"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"Humor is reason gone mad."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."