Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, a... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Pluto will always be a planet in my book. That’s because my book was published before Pluto was blacklisted by planetary scientists."

"If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures must also move, and all the words in the book must be spoken and available audibly for all the readers to hear as they watch."

"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."

"As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon."

"I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral."