I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was ha... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography."

"He was just a kid. He didn’t care. He was like, “I’m getting in my mom’s van and I’m going home.” I was just a kid, too. But I cared. With him gone, who was I going to play Plato and Socrates with?"

"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to."

"The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger."

"Pluto will always be a planet in my book. That’s because my book was published before Pluto was blacklisted by planetary scientists."