More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream."
"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."
"After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography."
"There is life, and there is death, and in between there is me. Please don’t wake me up."
"My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we approach the end."