As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rath... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"I have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my ex girlfriend’s front yard."

"Last year, millions of students didn’t graduate from high school. They didn’t drop out, they were simply in elementary and middle schools."

"I put the “now” in knowledge. Well, I will put it there, probably tomorrow or tomorrow’s tomorrow."