More quotes by Woody Allen

"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."
"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."
"I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland."
"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."