If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you'r... - Woody Allen

"Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic."

"If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse."

"There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope."

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."