Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you... - Will Rogers

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."