Will Rogers

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like."

"Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you will still get run over."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing."

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects."

"I never met a man that I didn't like."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."

"Always drink upstream from the herd."