Will Rogers

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

"I never met a man that I didn't like."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

"Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you will still get run over."

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"Always drink upstream from the herd."

"If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

"You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects."

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."