Will Rogers

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

"Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you will still get run over."

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."

"You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"I never met a man that I didn't like."

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like."

"Always drink upstream from the herd."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."