"Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh!"
"Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world."
"Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face."
"I don’t think that taking off my eye patch would increase my night vision by 100%, but it would go a long way towards relieving my wedgie."
"I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman."
"Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world."