More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women

"Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"Sometimes I sit for hours just thinking, wondering what the man upstairs is trying to tell me. Yesterday I reached the conclusion that he was saying, “Get me a slinky."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"If I ever go to China, I’m going to find a piano and play “Chopsticks”--only not with my fingers, but rather I’ll be using two forks."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More
"Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face."
— Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women Read More