Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a ma... - Scott Adams

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"

"Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt."

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"

"The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it."

"It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation."