"Gold is liquid sunlight frozen in time, and that’s why I love the way ice melts in vodka. I also love the way ice melts in vodka. I’ll have another shot, if you’ll reload the revolver."
"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."
"Her heart is so dark, if it were ink it’d be beyond black and would only be good for writing a murder mystery novel."
"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."
"I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some."
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."