More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."
"If I had no clothes it’d be winter. If I were naked, it’d be the truth and we could lie together."
"I was gardening when I saw this snail/slug thing disguised as a leaf. Ah, isn't fall a wonderful time to slowly fall in love?"
"We no longer know each other. Hell, I barely know myself these days. I brush my teeth and look in the mirror and think, “Who is this guy taking care of my oral hygiene?"
"Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy."