"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."
"If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?"
"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."
"The difference between a karate chop and a high five is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. My love can slice like a piece of pizza."
"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."