"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."
"I blew the love trumpet until my cheeks were blue. Then I paid 34 bucks for a taxicab ride home so I could admire my receding hairline in the mirror."
"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."
"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."