More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I was just shy of reaching my goal. My goal was to be more extroverted, so being just shy meant I completely failed."
"When I go off the grid, my main source of light will be fireflies. Oh, and the glow that will come from the epic love poem I am writing for you."
"I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got pennies on the dollar for it. Ha! Wait, a buyer who gets pennies on the dollar is the clever one in the deal. Damn it! Lucifer tricked me!"
"I let coffee drip into my mouth the same way I fall in love—slowly, as I wring out my shirt before going to scrub off the 32-ounce spill. I’m as romantic as a free-refill station that’s out of sugar, cream, and stirring sticks."
"If I had no clothes it’d be winter. If I were naked, it’d be the truth and we could lie together."