"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."
"As soon as you cross the county line into where all the wealthier people live, the weather is suddenly sunnier and warmer. Even at night."
"You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time."
"Read her poetry before you make love to her. That way she’ll be asleep when you do. I’m as romantic as a rocking chair with wheels."
"We made love like a goat has four legs like a table. If your dining room table can walk, it’s best to eat while sitting in wheelchairs."
"I’ll convert a school desk into a tricycle, because how else am I supposed to learn to love? It’s not like baseball gloves are very effective oven mitts."